By 2g1c2 girls 1 cup
Where ever I go, there I am drunk. /Rita E. Torres/
24 Jun 2012 Author: admin In: Advice and Suggestions, Cartoons & Funny Photos
Stay busy, get plenty of exercise, and don't drink too much. Then again, don't drink too little.
Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.
If you know someone who tries to drown their sorrows, you might tell them sorrows know how to swim.
I think a man ought to get drunk at least twice a year just on principle, so he won't let himself get snotty about it.
If four or five guys tell you that you're drunk, even though you know you haven't had a thing to drink, the least you can do is to lie down a little while.
It is most absurdly said, in popular language, of any man, that he is disguised in liquor; for, on the contrary, most men are disguised by sobriety.
I like liquor - its taste and its effects - and that is just the reason why I never drink it.
I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.
Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with, that it's compounding a felony.
Even though a number of people have tried, no one has yet found a way to drink for a living.
We borrowed golf from Scotland as we borrowed whiskey. Not because it is Scottish, but because it is good.
Wine gives a man nothing... it only puts in motion what had been locked up in frost.
If life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade. And try to find somebody who's life is giving them vodka.
What is it about a beautiful sunny afternoon, with the birds singing and the wind rustling through the leaves, that makes you want to get drunk?
There are spunky little angels at the top of a bottle of wine and fearless little devils in the bottom.
I'm going to be around until the Atomic Energy Commission finds a safe place to bury my liver.
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Loading ...Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege.
23 May 2012 Author: admin In: Anecdotes and Jokes, Cartoons & Funny PhotosSymptoms of Stupidity
- The mouth open.
- Using death threats when contradicted.
- Not knowing when it is appropriate to joke around.
- Not being able to tolerate people who are different
If anybody you know show any of these 4 symptoms, then there are high chances that they are stupid. By the way, check up yourself as well!
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Loading ...God Semi-Gods and Human Being…
20 Apr 2012 Author: admin In: Anecdotes and Jokes, Cartoons & Funny Photos
”GOD: I cannot be everywhere, so I created MOTHER
DEVIL: I cannot be everywhere, so I created GIRLS, Ha Ha Ya!
GOD: Don’t laugh, I have created boys to change them into mothers again..:)
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Loading ...Fashion, Couture, Expensive Cloth - Isn’t It Funny?
9 Apr 2012 Author: admin In: Anecdotes and Jokes, Cartoons & Funny Photos, Funny Real Stories- I was raised by people that wear lime green polyester pants and white vinyl shoes, and I thought that this was endemic to my race ’til I saw a black man wearing red polyester pants and white vinyl shoes. Then I realized — bad taste knows no color barrier.
- I put a new pair of underwear on, I feel like a million bucks. I buy the Jockey ones because they’re 100% cotton. You can breathe. You don’t buy those Victoria’s Secret things. Those things ought to come with a tube of Monistat.
- I went to a fashion show. Models are wearing $10,000 worth of stuff, $15,000 shoes — and mad! You know why they mad? Because they hungry, that’s why.
- You want to have a little fun? Go to a fashion show and throw a cookie on stage and watch them.
- Women, stop buying the lingerie. Stop buying it right now. Oh, it’s a big rip off. Oh my god, $18 bucks for panties this big? Come on, one trip through the dryer, and it’s a frilly bookmark.
- Don’t you think that Jim Morrison was probably the worst person you could ever meet at a party, ever? Just some plunging-necklined, leather-panted jackass, like, ‘Let me tell you about my experiences on mescaline in the desert.’ Scurry back to…
- I don’t trust nobody who wear all white neither. You ever see these people? They come out the house: all white jacket, all white shirt, all white belt, pants, shoes, socks. Who do you think you are that you not going to get dirty today? You that…
- If you’re some rich little punk, you can’t dress like a gangster rapper. What are you trying to fool us all into thinking? Like, ‘Oh my, look, a Crip has moved into the basement of that mansion. Hmm. How odd.’
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Loading ...Shopping Bag Designs Could Be Funny!
19 Mar 2012 Author: admin In: Cartoons & Funny Photos
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