Smile when you see all teeth, but there are not too many

“So, Nik, how do you like your new mother?” a newly remarried father asks his little son.
“You know, Daddy,” the boy replies sadly, “I think they fooled us; she doesn’t look new at all!”

“The doctor said he would have me on my feet in two weeks.”
“And did he?”
“Yes, I had to sell the car to pay the bill.”

A dog thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me… They must be Gods!
A cat thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me… I must be a God!

A father is having a problem getting his five-year-old daughter to fall asleep. Finally, she suggests, “Daddy, why don.t you just whisper something into my ear the way you do with Mommy?”
The father does just that, and the daughter falls asleep murmuring, “No, not tonight, honey; I.m so tired.”

A man comes home from a night of drinking. As he falls through the doorway, his wife snaps at him, “What’s the big idea coming home half drunk?”
The man replies, “I’m sorry honey. I ran out of money.”

A man walking down the street noticed a small boy trying to reach the doorbell of a house. Even when he jumped up, he couldn’t quite reach it.
The man decided to help the boy, walked up on to the porch and pushed the doorbell. He looked down at the boy, smiled and asked, “What now?” The boy answered, “Now we run like crazy!”

A man went to visit a friend and was amazed to find him playing chess with his dog. He watched the game in astonishment for a while. “I can hardly believe my eyes!” he exclaimed. “That’s the smartest dog I’ve ever seen.” “Nah, he’s not so smart,” the friend replied. “I’ve beaten him three games out of five.”

A pick pocket was pronounced guilty and sentenced to 8 months jail term with an option of $200 fine by the judge.
His defense lawyer knowing that his client could not pay the fine, pleaded with the judge asking: “Your honor, my client can only afford $50, but if you allow him a few minutes in the crowd .”

Eight-year-old Nina brought her report card home from school. Her marks were good…mostly A’s and a couple of B’s.
However, her teacher had written across the bottom: “Nina is a smart little girl, but she has one fault. She talks too much in school. I have an idea I am going to try, which I think may break her of the habit.”
Nina’s dad signed her report card, putting a note on the back: “Please let me know if your idea works on Nina because I would like to try it out on her mother.”

There are 9 jokes, may be you could add one more?